In Celebration of ... US!
If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in sick to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
~ Robin Tyler
I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.
~ Charles Pierce
Dear Abby, in response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood:
"You could move."
~ Abigail Van Buren.
The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next time the government mandates a draft, we can all declare we are homosexual instead of running off to Canada.
~ Lorne Bloch
Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"
~ Jon Stewart
My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share.
~ Rita Mae Brown
Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons.
~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate
You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.
~ Barry Goldwater
Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
~ Ernest Gaines
My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
~ W. Somerset Maugham
Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
~ Author Unknown
If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."
~ Shelly Roberts
My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about it.
~ Amanda Bearse
It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain....
~ Francis Maude
The only queer people are those who don't love anybody....
~ Rita Mae Brown
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to hetero-sexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
~ Lynn Lavner
If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered.
~Robin Tyler
Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend. "I had a great time with... them." Great! Now they don't think you're queer - just a big slut!
~Judy Carter
I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." So to all those heterosexuals who bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
--Adam Rowland