Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Enlightenment ...


Woke up this morning as if I'd come alive for the first time (memories of Frosty the Snowman in childhood Christmas dramas).

I've spent my whole life trying to control my destiny; plan my future and make everything work in sync like some huge, well-oiled clock. Pathways were laid out in organized grids. Progress charted and mapped out as if my whole life depended on it - like a movie being shown on the big screen.

Well, this morning I woke up and felt the canvas, on which my life's screenplay is showing, ripped asunder. The awesome possibilities of "true" life streaming through the ugly gash like the sun's warming rays at dawn. I know this seems a bit melodramatic, but damn it! - I'm entitled. :-)

I've always been 'well ordered', 'organized', a 'life-planner' and this morning I've seen the folly in these titles. Now, none of these descriptions are really bad by themselves, but when you allow them to become WHO you are instead of HOW you can be - well, now that's a different story.

So, maybe it was the late night meal of cottage cheese (with wasabi), deli dill pickles, and fresh onion dip ... or maybe it was me finally breaking free of myself? Looking back, so many things have transpired in my life that have allowed me to be where I am today ... perhaps it just took all these cumulative events and time to tear down the walls that hemmed my possibilities in.

So here's a toast: to Spontaneity in all of its glory, to Faith in all of its comfort, and to Trust in all of its humility. Oh, and of course to our dear friend Frosty - who always had a fresh outlook on life -- "Happy Birthday!". LOL

3 Comments:

Blogger Rebecca said...

"So, maybe it was the late night meal of cottage cheese (with wasabi), deli dill pickles, and fresh onion dip"
... Um, Are you pregnant?

5:33 PM  
Blogger So Not Right said...

You are reaching that poiint of "self-actualization". Now I don't really know what that term means but I had to be able to spell it in college so i thought I should use it. This looked like the right place.

9:07 AM  
Blogger DEREK said...

enjoyed the last two post greatly. Really enjoying your blog.

1:08 PM  

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